It's been more than a month....and so much has changed. And in the best possible way. I found something to believe in. I found faith again. A lot had happened which shook my faith and my cynicism got the better of me. But in the last one month I found one of those missing pieces in my life. I think I was always meant to embrace the life I was leading but it had to be at the right moment. Since then, there's been no looking back. I fret a lot less and let go of so many things that used to hold me back. I'm changing. Everyday. Every single second. The beauty lies in the fact that it was all there and I'm slowly beginning to realise that. And it makes me happy. I've stopped being completely cynical but know that there still is some purging left to be done. But I'm not worried. I'm confident it will happen.
It amazes me how some people just randomly enter your life and without even meaning to make YOUR own life a lot more meaningful. And then there are those who have always been there but we didn't really think that we could ever be more than acquaintances. How our preconceived notions get shot to hell and we are left wondering "How did not see this before?" Now I accept the fact that we make these judgement calls so that someday they get shattered and we are pleasantly reassured that inherently we knew what we were doing when we befriended them.
I go off to Shantiniketan tomorrow. With a rather motley crew. Some whom I love dearly and some who I don't know at all. We will live and breathe together for a few days and somewhere we will make memories which will never get erased. Memories keep me going. Unpleasant ones which act as constant reminders of how we must learn from them. The beautiful ones which make you smile even after the corners of those memories have started to yellow. I'm not a painter, a photographer or film maker....I capture things in my mind's eye and take in every detail. All the memories which I hold so close to my soul...I can still remember the smells, the sounds and sights. Every detail is etched. I know I cannot replicate on any canvas or film or even write to do them justice. But I will look back at them and reaffirm my faith that those things were meant to happen and I'm meant to make more such memories. I was looking for peace of mind and a happy existence and I'm confident I'm on the right path. With a little help for some people who give me nudges now and then.
I'm just glad to find out that I still believe...
