There is something so beautiful about people laughing. Whether it is intoxicant induced or otherwise, when people laugh, and I mean really laugh, something good does happen to the world. In that moment everything else is forgotten...the worries, the sadness,everything that possible makes up the rest of the day. Today I laughed like a maniac surrounded by beautiful people who were laughing from their souls and it felt so bloody good. I also experienced love. The kind of love that inspires and makes you feel like there is something so wonderful about the world and that is what it should be all the time. Somewhere I felt like I was invading something sacred and wished there was a way I could slip away and let that aura just continue....but I'm so glad that I could feel the overwhelming effect. So here's to the two individuals who have so much love for each other and so much love to share.Am blessed to be a part of the domino effect. Somehow that just increases my ability to love, every single day.=)

She smiled to herself as she slowly disconnected the modem. A long night ahead. Silence surrounded her which seemed so comforting. Suddenly the glare of the computer was gone and she was plunged into darkness. The familiar sense of the dark overwhelmed and she continued to smile. She closed her eyes and imagined the stark difference in what life had thrown her way. Black and white. A bright light emanated from her soul and for once she didn't crave for the darkness...

The phone beeped into the night and she just gazed at the blinking light but did not move to either answer or cancel the call. It would stop eventually. The name flashing on it made her smile some more. She probably should answer it but for once she'd give it a miss even though perhaps this was the call she was waiting for, for so long. The light stopped blinking... it beeped once more indicating a text message. She put out her hand and read it. The service providers obviously did not believe in the concept of sleep at night. Just like her. It beeped again. This time she was not disappointed. She smiled and went to hit delete. Something stopped her. She thought long and hard about what to reply with. In the end...she would succumb. Best to hold out while she still could. She put the phone down and looked to her left and smiled. She bent down and kissed his forehead. She loved him... of that there was no doubt. She'd given up so much for him and have never regretted any of it. He stirred in his sleep and sighed. She'd always thought he looked almost angelic when he was asleep. She could have sat there all night watching him sleep. Infact she had done so on so many occasions. Just to hear him breathe. Watching as with every breath and every twitch he was dreaming about the perfect world. She dreamt too. But she'd always believed she has her perfect world. There was nothing more she could ask for. She had it all. She kissed his forehead again and that familiar flipflop in her stomach happened all over again. There was such a strange feeling in her heart. She could feel how much she loved him and how much he loved her and it was truly enough. She reached out and picked up her shawl and draped it over her shoulders and got out of bed. It was 3am.She walked to the verandah. The december air slapped her face but she didn't feel the cold at all. She stared out into the darkness and it struck her how dark it truly was. Ordinarily the moonlight, even with the moon behind the clouds, was enough for the tall buildings to cast a shadow. But tonight it was pitch black and deathly silent. She turned and walked in. She stood at the foot of the bed and watched him breathe, watched him dream about his perfect world. She went to the front door and opened it and stepped out. She stood there for a moment, and looked back inside. She smiled. This was her perfect world, where everything was exactly how she wanted it to be. She shut the door behind her and the darkness of the night engulfed her...

New File

So I'm sitting in my room...in my house...sorry...my NEW house. And it's so surreal. Most people when they take the plunge I did, look forward to it with such enthusiasm and excitement yet I chose to look at it with apprehension and trepidation. I kept thinking about all the things I was leaving behind and just refused to look at the things that I would gain. I firmly believed that only my past really meant something and this city was taking it all away. Yet another reason to hate this city, I thought. But yesterday, as I made my way to work crossing India Gate, I suddenly felt goosebumps and realised how beautiful this city looks on a crisp wintry morning. It was cloudy and cold and yet I felt so warm inside. I realised that I was in love...
Immediately felt guilty that I had let down my home...that I had taken up a new lover and cheated on the one who had been by my side for all my life. Guilty pleasure. If one can be in love with two people why not with two places? Yes maybe I have not yet made my peace with the loud, aggro, reckless, insensitive people around me, and I want to scream at the amount of aimless wandering I must do to make my way HOME yet there is something so beautiful about this city. If Kolkata has heritage and culture and intellectuals, Delhi has history, a sense of pride and overwhelming smell of power. And I inhale hungrily. Yes it does help to come home to a the same smiling face I have adored for the last zillion years. But then I'm beginning to appreciate the newer smiling faces, knowing that once again I will be able to say the same about them after the next zillion years. Had I moved to a place where I knew noone and nothing, I'd probably want to curl up and die and I was convinced I'd feel like that here too but I don't. I know I'm taken care of. By ones who've been through the shit with me and the ones who will. I know I will not go hungry, sleepless or unloved. What more could I ask for? So I let go of my prejudices and embrace the whirlwind that is Delhi. I see a long lasting love-hate relationship with a place that will be home for this new chapter of my life. I shall stop being scared.
Kolkata, I love you and always will.... But it is time to fall in love again :) And fall in love I will.
Thank you for all the fish... :)