Lord its been ages.....and so much has happened since.....
I realised that I'm a very angry human being.I don't show it often but when I do it's quite terrible.But I think I've calmed down now....was re-reading an old blog post and realised that some amount of anger has crawled under a rock.Good.May it stay there for a while. Some things are best healed with time and then seems inconsequential. So has a lot of things....
One thing that I learnt very recently that relationships are investments which are subject to market risks.I mean in every relationship we put in so much and only make just about that much progress yet that doesn't stop us from investing more.It's the crunch time when we realise 'oh fuck'. Said bye to a friend recently who I know for just about 6 months and yet cried buckets while holding each other at the airport.Why? I thought to myself that I'm not gonna invest in any relationship anytime soon.Just takes too much out of me. Life aint a bed of roses...it rarely even smells like one. But I suppose it's the hope of the missing fragrance which keeps us going.
On a similar note, talking about smells, memory and smell go hand in hand,everyone knows that. But today I realised even clothes do that.And movies and quotes and so many things.What's interesting is that the same thing that would bring a smile to your face,invariably is also things you avoid if something goes wrong. I know how many times I have not taken a particular route home just to avoid the happy memories flooding back to be painful.Does that even make sense?But time changes all that eventually.And maybe then you can go back to smiling when you hear or see or smell something familiar. These associations can completely mindfuck you but then you live with it.
Feeling rusty suddenly.........think I have forgotten how to write.I miss the days when words would just flow like the verbal diarrhoea I indulge in most of the time... anyway here's to getting back on my feet...in every aspect...
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