I don't know what it is. I can't put my finger on it. But you definitely do something to me. I found that I could laugh thanks to someone else. But you seem to know how to make me love laughing. I have started loving myself again. I love the way you say my name. Don't think anyone has said my name like that. There is so much emotion in your voice when you get serious. I love the way you look at me when you smile. I love the way your eyes twinkle up when you smile. The corners of your lips curve. Did you know that? When you are in a particularly mischievous mood, your eyes sparkle. You challenge me. Everyday. But it is so easy with you. So easy to talk to you. You're one of the few people with whom I don't try because I don't want to, don't have to. Out of the abyss, you pulled me. Bit by bit. I'm not out yet but I'm getting there. Everyday. I look forward to every moment I spend with you. You seem to be the cold compress for an aching soul. Our lives crossed each other's for a reason. Perhaps you were meant to rescue me. And me? I don't know yet what I'm supposed to do for you. But I'm willing to find out. You reinstated my belief in so many things. I love how you don't put be on a pedestal. You don't go out of your way to make me feel special. Weird thing is that I don't care. That in itself makes me feel special. And I'm petrified. Not of the things that used to scare me before. New things. That's the beauty. of it. I have stepped out of the shade and am willing to take a chance again. Perhaps that's being stupid. But you encourage my stupidity. I'm not floating anywhere but firmly grounded. My roots ensure that there is no way that I will ever be blown away. And I am grateful for them. But you. But you just...I don't think I have ever been so at sea. For the first time I'm not mind fucked. I love that you don't play games with me. Games that can spiral out of control. My rationale is intact. Did you know the other day I smelt something and suddenly I wasn't where I was supposed to be. My instinct was to look around for you. Of course you weren't there. But I couldn't help but smile to myself. You are so unfamiliar and yet so familiar. It's a comfort and an intrigue. No I don't think I'm in love with you. Love is too strong and final. I don't know what it is I feel. Loving you is something that may happen but may not. But yes, I do love you. Deeply, blindly, fiercely. But there is a difference. Do you know that? We are not so different you and I. Perhaps that's the problem or the solution. I don't know...yet. But this I do know-I lowered my guard again. I let you in. Risky business that.People are puzzles to be figured out. You are a Rubic's Cube. I managed to get just one side sorted. And I'm not going to rush myself to complete the entire thing just yet. The full picture will reveal itself to me someday. I can wait. I stand at the end of the road looking at you. Guilty of wanting you to look up. Glad you didn't lest you didn't like what you saw. If you're meant to, you will look up at me and grin. Or pass me by. That is fine too. Atleast you will have passed me by. You are one person who I wouldn't mind letting go off. I held on too long and too hard to so many things. We all make mistakes and God knows, I have made mine. So many times. But you, I will just wish you good luck, if you should choose to walk on without me. Right now I don't know, consciously what I want from you. Perhaps that's why it is so much easier. Perhaps, no, for sure you don't know about the effect you have on me. I myself can't understand what it is. Maybe one day when I understand, so will you. Or perhaps you will make me understand. Or perhaps we shall never know. And no, I'm not in love with you...yet.