"April is the cruellest month"

The last month has been nothing short of my world spinning madly on. So much has happened and so much has changed. I have been jumping on a trampoline as far as my mood has been concerned. I ended up shocking and surprising myself. Somewhere I have grown. Or is that how I want to explain it. Perhaps I am infact becoming cold. I know I have not lost the ability to love or feel but I dont feel the same things I used to. The things that were so familiar. 2 weeks of travelling. Going home was meant to feel right and on some level it did but so many strangers I encountered. The faces I could read like the back of my hand were all strangers to me. I feel nothing. What makes it worse it that I dont feel like its wrong. Home gave me the love I was missing but somehow I dont think I was able to give the same love back.

The hills saved me once again. It breathed life into me. Sitting under a million stars, feeling like surge of the cosmic energy. One of the most significantly surreal moments of my life. Cant remember the last time I had such an intense night. Not just because of the energy surrounding me. It has been a while since I spoken to anyone about God, religion, spirituality, love, the universe. And that too to two perfect strangers. And we sat and swapped stories and lives for a while. Put ourselves in the other's shoes. I know a lot changed that night and I will take away a lot from that night. I grew up a little more I think. It's amazing what the mountains are capable of. I cant wait to run back there again. This month has been significant in my life in more ways than one. Perhaps it has been the cruellest month. It helped me shatter so many comfortable bubbles.