This is keeping a promise made to a dear friend, perhaps one of the very few people who do read my blog.:) So thank you N.
I shall explain to you why there are these sporadic posts. Most of the time I have nothing to write about :( I write when I need to vent, when I experience extreme emotions and sometimes when I think oh shit its been a while.Tu comprende? But since you said nice things about me, I shall be a good girl and write (try) more regularly.
So after 1 and half years in this house, it is time to bid adieu to it. I remember huffing and puffing up the stairs with 2 suitcases and a backpack. My life in 2 suitcases and a backpack. Yet as I get ready to move into my own little place, I realise I have so much stuff!! Stuff acquired over the months which have no meaning, that mean too much, stuff I cannot do without, stuff that makes me want to go "WHAT WAS I THINKING?!!!" Yet it is mine. I need a tempo to move all these things...and I realise everything I possess is truly mine. From the random gold pompoms to the fridge...I am responsible for them. And there is sense of pride somewhere. I feel like an adult now; ready to set up a home. I will no longer operate out of a room to call my own but a house. It's giving me sleepless nights and I am scared shitless too but there is a sense of thrill and excitement too.That feeling is like a pressure cooker about to start whistling. I dont have a plan, I dont know how I'll do it. All I know is that I have to and I will. Maybe I will cry myself to sleep for a month, maybe I will feel so empty and hollow and alone. But it's only a matter of time before I get tired of my whiny self and kick myself into action. For everything that ends, there is always a beginning. That is the truth of life. My head is a lot clearer now...well atleast for somethings. The murky things remain, sometimes getting murkier sometimes being stagnant. Which is worse, I still know not.
At the beginning of this year I told S that this would be a year of many major changes. In my life and the lives of those I love. It's only May and my theory stands proven. I wait to see what else this year brings. Change is not necessarily good or bad....it sometimes just is....So I raise my glass and say "Thank you for being the only constant in my life."
I shall explain to you why there are these sporadic posts. Most of the time I have nothing to write about :( I write when I need to vent, when I experience extreme emotions and sometimes when I think oh shit its been a while.Tu comprende? But since you said nice things about me, I shall be a good girl and write (try) more regularly.
So after 1 and half years in this house, it is time to bid adieu to it. I remember huffing and puffing up the stairs with 2 suitcases and a backpack. My life in 2 suitcases and a backpack. Yet as I get ready to move into my own little place, I realise I have so much stuff!! Stuff acquired over the months which have no meaning, that mean too much, stuff I cannot do without, stuff that makes me want to go "WHAT WAS I THINKING?!!!" Yet it is mine. I need a tempo to move all these things...and I realise everything I possess is truly mine. From the random gold pompoms to the fridge...I am responsible for them. And there is sense of pride somewhere. I feel like an adult now; ready to set up a home. I will no longer operate out of a room to call my own but a house. It's giving me sleepless nights and I am scared shitless too but there is a sense of thrill and excitement too.That feeling is like a pressure cooker about to start whistling. I dont have a plan, I dont know how I'll do it. All I know is that I have to and I will. Maybe I will cry myself to sleep for a month, maybe I will feel so empty and hollow and alone. But it's only a matter of time before I get tired of my whiny self and kick myself into action. For everything that ends, there is always a beginning. That is the truth of life. My head is a lot clearer now...well atleast for somethings. The murky things remain, sometimes getting murkier sometimes being stagnant. Which is worse, I still know not.
At the beginning of this year I told S that this would be a year of many major changes. In my life and the lives of those I love. It's only May and my theory stands proven. I wait to see what else this year brings. Change is not necessarily good or bad....it sometimes just is....So I raise my glass and say "Thank you for being the only constant in my life."
1 comment:
...and more promises to keep :) keep writing. this voice needs to be heard
Post a Comment